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Lectures have ended, exams have been sat, and students have cried with joy and sorrow… So my work is done for the year! But to keep the spirits up, here’s a scene from A Few Good Structural Engineers:

Engineer:

You want answers?

Architect:

I think I’m entitled to them.

Engineer:

You want answers?

Architect:

I want the truth!!

Engineer:

You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has FLOORS. And those FLOORS have to be SUPPORTED BY COLUMNS. Who’s gonna DESIGN THEM? You? You, MR. ARCHITECT?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for LOST FLOOR SPACE and you curse the COLUMNS. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that THOSE COLUMNS, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…

You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that DESIGN TEAM. You need me on that DESIGN TEAM.

We use words like DESIGN, CODE, ANALYSIS…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent SUPPORTING something. You use ’em as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my DESIGN to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very STRUCTURES I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a STEEL MANUAL and DESIGN a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Architect:

Did you SCHEDULE THE COLUMNS?

Engineer:

(quietly) I did the job you HIRED me to do.

Architect:

Did you SCHEDULE THE COLUMNS?!!

Engineer:

You’re goddamn right I did!!

Thanks to Ritchie for this gem!